Parenting: My Hot Take
Becoming a parent is the hardest and most rewarding position. Raising and keeping children alive is a full-time job. You go each day doing everything you can to keep them safe and they spend every day doing everything they can to test every boundary as well as gravity itself.
When I got pregnant, I read every book and article that I could get my hands on for 9 months so I could be prepared for what was to come. I was under the illusion that I would know exactly what I was doing when my oldest son was born. The first two weeks were absolute bliss. There was no way I wouldn’t be able to handle raising a baby. Boy was I wrong. Week 3 on was not bliss. After the first month I realized just how not prepared I was. I am thankful I had a lot of family support because man babies are not easy.
Through all my research, I was taken aback by how much controversy surrounds parenting. The battle between breastfeeding and formula feeding is truly astonishing. There is the choice of co-sleeping or sleep training. Last up is how parents choose to correct behavior. It took me until my third child to decide to stop listening to all the advice being shoved my way and to do what was best for myself and my children. My best advice that I give out to expecting parents is to do what is best for them and their babies. No two babies are the same. Even 2 kids from the same parents will be completely different. My four children are so vastly different, but they have been raised the exact same. It’s amazing honestly to watch your babies turn into their own people with their own personalities and interests.
My oldest was breastfed and formula fed. I co slept for the first 2 years of his life and then transitioned him to his own bed. He has grown up to be a very strong-willed, passionate, kind, helpful preteen. He loves sports and animals and would rather be outside or playing video games. My second born was breastfed and formula fed. I co slept with him until he was around 2 and then transitioned him to his own bed. He was a very colicky baby which was much different from my first who rarely cried. He has grown up to be a very strong-willed, kind, empathetic, 9-year-old. He loves robots, Legos, and art. My third is the only girl and man does her sass match that title. I breast fed and formula fed her. We also co slept for the first four years of her life and then transitioned her to her own bed. She is a very sassy, strong willed, kind, bright 7-year-old. She is going to change the world one day because she is determined to go for everything she wants. My fourth is the perfect ending to our journey of growing our family. He was breastfed. We also still co sleep with him at 2 years old. He is the one who gives us a run for our money. The fourth born is the one who does all the things the others didn’t. It’s never a dull moment. I love watching each of them grow because they are going to do so much, and I love knowing I’m nurturing all their interests and breaking generational cycles with them.
I choose to believe we all do the best we can with our children. There is no one way to raise kids. I am supportive of all parents who choose to breastfeed. I’m also supportive of parents who choose to formula feed. You want to co sleep with your littles? You got my support. You want to sleep train? I’m in your corner. The only time that I feel you are failing your kids is when any individual makes a conscious decision to abuse or neglect their kids. One thing I bring into my parenting is that children are the next generation of parents. I think of how I want them to raise their children. What do I want to pass down to them? Kids are sponges and absorb everything that is said and done to them. My hope is that I will pass down enough positive parenting moments for them to continue breaking cycles with their kids. I am so excited and blessed to be able to watch my kids grow up into their own people.
I like to try and visualize who they will be as adults. What kind of jobs will they choose? Will they go to college? Will they choose to join the military? Will they decide to travel or move out of state?
Being a parent is a blessing, but I am wise enough to admit that it is hard. No parenting book, article, or “expert” can prepare you for every situation. I’m also open to admitting that there are days when I must walk away before I quit. Because man these kids can be a lot. The best advice I was given that I still use to this day is “pick your battles”. We have days where I turn the tv on for the day and we eat snacks all day. Some days we follow our routines and have productive days. If I can leave anything with you all it would be that you are doing a great job. Parenting is full of good and bad days. Sometimes it may seem like the bad days outweigh the good days and other days it will be the other way around. Just keep showing up.
